Rumour has it that after his recent run-in with a 'mentally unstable' woman, the pontiff has been a little nervous around adults and females, and has therefore requested that everyone in the Vatican who isn't a five year old boy be shot in the head. What a queer fellow. With any luck, he'll have a sudden moment of terrible realisation about the existence of God or something, and turn the gun on himself.
Predictor: Adam Otulakowski, Brighton
Mortality Status: Alive
